Woman Refuses to Host Her Nephews Again After They Trash Her Home, Offended Brother Gets Whole Family Involved in the Dispute

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 2, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Welcome, gossipy girlies of the web. Everyone wants to be the cool aunt - the unmarried one that has a really cool house, is a bit mysterious, and always has a glass of wine in hand. The cool aunt tells her nieces and nephews crazy stories about mom and dad, spoils them with all sorts of treats and souvenirs from all her travels abroad, and lets them watch PG-13 movies. While we all long to be her, what if your nieces and nephews just aren't cool? 

In our story today, a cool aunt has a rough experience hosting her elementary-aged family members. In the end, her home ends up trashed, with scribbles on the wall by children old enough to know not to do that. Her brother refuses to take responsibility or pay for damages, choosing to rope their parents into the family instead. Read below for the full, steaming tea. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/maddiexlopezz • 3h AITA for refusing to let my brother's kids stay at my house after they trashed it last time?
    via u/maddiexlopezz
  • 02
    I (32F) live in a nice, cozy home that I've worked really hard to maintain. My brother (34M) has three kids, ages 6,8 and 10. A few months ago, he ask if they could stay at my place for the weekends because he and his wife needed a break, I agreed, thinking it would be nice to bond with my nieces and nephew.
    via u/maddiexlopezz
  • 03
    Well, that weekend turned into a nightmare. The kids went absolutely wild. They broke several things, including a vas that was a gift from my late grandmother, spilled juice on my white couch, and even scribbled on the walls with markers. I tried to manage the situation, but whenever I told them to stop or try to set boundaries, they completely ignored me.
    via u/maddiexlopezz
  • 04
    When I told my brother about the damage, he just laughed it off and said, 'Kids will be kids'. He didn't offer to help clean up or replace anything. I was really hurt but didn't make a big deal out of it at the time.
    via u/maddiexlopezz
  • 05
    Fast forward to now, he's asking if the kids can stay over again because they want to go on another weekend trip. I told him no, explaining what happened last time and that I don't want to deal with that again. He got really upset, saying I'm punishing his kids for being kids and that I'm being unfair.
    via u/maddiexlopezz
  • 06
    Now my parents are involved, saying I should 'be the bigger person' and help out my brother. They say the kids ae sorry and just want to spend time with their aunt. But I'm still traumatized by the last time they were here. AITA for refusing to let them stay at my house again? ه 1,424 ☐ 560 ୪
    via u/maddiexlopezz
  • 07
    NTA. Jyqm. 3h Pooperintendant [53] He got really upset, saying I'm punishing his kids for being kids and that I'm being unfair. This is utterly ridiculous. You are not these children's parent, and they do not live in your home. You have no obligation to care for them except in an emergency. It's perfectly reasonable and acceptable to say that you can't handle having them in your home, particularly given your previous experience.
    via u/Jyqm
  • 08
    Now my parents are involved, saying I should 'be the bigger person' and help out my brother. Why don't your parents take in their grandchildren for the weekend, then? Alternatively, if you do want to help out, you could stay at your brothers' place for the weekend. That way the kids are at home and can scribble on their own walls if they so choose. Also your brother could pay you for doing this. ... ← Reply 2.2k
    via u/Jyqm
  • 09
    thatsaSagittarius • 3h Enthusiast [9] NTA. Kids are kids but not destructors. He and his wife probably need a break because they can't control their own kids. They're the kind of parents to tell everyone "kids will be kids" as they destroy property, run around stores, run around the airport, etc. Getting a little rowdy because it's a sleepover? Fine. Breaking belongings and DRAWING on walls? Nope.
    via u/thatsaSagittarius
  • 10
    Your parents could practice what they preach and take the kids in for the weekend. But protect your - peace don't let them come over again. They're old enough. ← Reply 526
    via u/thatsaSagittarius
  • 11
    ErrantTaco • 2h I had a kid who drew on walls a few times. SHE WAS TWO. One of the times was not at our house, and I immediately went and got alcohol wipes to fix the mess.
    via u/ErrantTaco
  • 12
    My kids aren't perfect. They all have ADHD and it sometimes takes energy to keep them positively directed. But I would be horrified if they acted the way that OP describes. It sounds to me like they either need more structured activities so they're not bored, or natural consequences, or both. And right now one of those natural consequences is that they don't get to be at your house. 35
    via u/ErrantTaco
  • 13
    Major_Barnacle_2212.3h Craptain [161] NTA. No wonder the parents need a break. They created this mess and are stuck with it. Worse, they're as entitled as the kids because they refused to make right what was damaged. And somehow I'm guessing grandma and grandpa aren't offering to be the "bigger people." Now you have to parent the parents by showing them there are consequences to their actions. ... Reply 336
    via u/Major_Barnacle_2212
  • 14
    Firm-Molasses-4913 3h Enthusiast [5] When siblings involve the parents that's a strike against them as far as I'm concerned. I guess the lesson here is you should have been the one to get ahead of your brother and complain to your parents about how awful the kids were lol NTA he's being disrespectful of your home Tell your parents with a laugh you're actually not the bigger person. Every time they bring it up just laugh and laugh and say "Oh God No, no way, not going to happen". If you're annoyi
    via u/Firm-Molasses-4913
  • 15
    NTA Apart-Ad-6518 · 3h Commander in Cheeks [226] The kids went absolutely wild. They broke several things, including a vas that was a gift from my late grandmother, spilled juice on my white couch, and even scribbled on the walls with markers." Kids of those ages absolutely should be past that sort of behavior.
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
  • 16
    "Now my parents are involved, saying I should 'be the bigger person' and help out my brother." If they feel that strongly let them help out & get their home trashed. ... Reply 121
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
  • 17
    Rare Examination_674.3h Partassipant [1] Nta, but you could tell him you'll watch them at their house and then refuse to clean up any messes you didn't make. ... Reply 89 ↓
    via u/Rare Examination_674
  • 18
    Key_Confidence_1513 ⚫ 3h NTA. Just tell him "kids will be kids and my house isn't suitable for kids" Reply 79 ↓
    via u/Key_Confidence_1513
  • 19
    jack-jackattack • 3h Exactly. "Yes, kids will be kids. Which is why I haven't had any." 10
    via u/jack-jackattack
  • 20
    birdiegetslicked ⚫ 3h NTA! You're setting a good boundary and he should have been respectful and understanding. If he was and taught his kids better then maybe you would be more open! 6,8 and 10 still scribbling on the walls? Doesn't sound like there's any discipline haha, you're in the right. Reply û 71 ♡
    via u/birdiegetslicked
  • 21
    Busyborgimom • 3h This right here. I could understand coloring on the walls at 2 but, all of these guys are well old enough to know you don't do that. ... 10
    via u/Busyborgimom

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nephews family drama brother Female Empowerment siblings reddit story relationships parenting kids these days couples aunt love sister reddit thread Reddit entitled people
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